Thursday
(Each of these are written like a letter to my boyfriend 'Scott')
This will be my diary to you containing everything that has/ will happen to me in the next (following or after-previous) 7 months. I have prayed to God that you will receive the message I sent to your heart.
I am well and though I miss you terribly 7 months is nothing compared to the 7 years Rachel had to face! We've done this before in the past and we can do it again.
I am well and though I miss you terribly 7 months is nothing compared to the 7 years Rachel had to face! We've done this before in the past and we can do it again.
I have faith in you, just as I know you have faith in me, when I write in this book I pray that you feel it. Let my feelings be a reassurance to you, a reminder of my love + loyalty. You know better than to even think I'd leave you even in a simple 7 months I admit I didn't think my dad would start this immediately, when I sent you the Face-book message (the other day) I expected to see you today.
I wanted to come to your youth-group, I felt filled with knowledge and I just wanted to share it and pour it into your friends and you.
I woke up this morning from mom, she asked me to 1. Study my Bible and 2. Teach some music to my siblings. Dad wanted us to learn some worship songs; here is where it gets interesting.
I wanted to come to your youth-group, I felt filled with knowledge and I just wanted to share it and pour it into your friends and you.
I woke up this morning from mom, she asked me to 1. Study my Bible and 2. Teach some music to my siblings. Dad wanted us to learn some worship songs; here is where it gets interesting.
Dad told me- There are 2 parts to you (me, everyone) the soul and the spirit. the spirit loves God but only if you make the connection. It longs for God otherwise. The soul is a completely different matter all together. Because the soul knows the difference between good and evil (and its drawn to evil thanks to Eve eating the forbidden fruit) we must train our souls to do good, much like a dog we can train our souls to do tricks and be obedient.
But it must begin immediately. For example:
All morning my soul has been probing me: " send him just one more e-mail, you have to let him know your okay. he's worried, you must call out to him! Contact him!!!"
So I say:
"For the last time soul- NO!- God will handle it. I will rely on God to send a message to his heart. 'I am okay, and you know better than to worry for me. Faith looks up; worry looks around. You don't need to look for me I'm here I am patient in the name of the Lord. I have sworn fealty (devotion) to you and I will see (look at/to) no other man beyond my father, my brother, and God until you return to me.'"
All morning my soul has been probing me: " send him just one more e-mail, you have to let him know your okay. he's worried, you must call out to him! Contact him!!!"
So I say:
"For the last time soul- NO!- God will handle it. I will rely on God to send a message to his heart. 'I am okay, and you know better than to worry for me. Faith looks up; worry looks around. You don't need to look for me I'm here I am patient in the name of the Lord. I have sworn fealty (devotion) to you and I will see (look at/to) no other man beyond my father, my brother, and God until you return to me.'"
I call out to you Scott.
I rebuke my soul for nearly tripping me. I think it was a sign from God that you called yesterday had you not I don't know if my dad would have let me come to the YG Bible study with you, but I think God was saying "not yet" and I was worried, sad, scared. I pleaded with God for mercy and peace. I havn't checked FB but Selah told me your status.
"I kept my promise to her now Its time to keep the promise to her dad" something like that.
And my heart was blessed. I felt honored. Honored. And so I will honor you.
No man, I will look upon no man until I can look upon you my love...
It begins.
It begins.
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