Friday
Today was wonderful, hard but good. Woken up by my daddy, I love how much my dad and Father love me. So at 6:69am I was lying on the couch and by 7:38am we had a few moments of worship, and then it was my turn. A few weeks ago dad blessed my siblings and though I didn't feel left out I wondered if there was anything for me. We had a sort of Genesis Revelation today and I felt a bit more free after that.
Today was wonderful, hard but good. Woken up by my daddy, I love how much my dad and Father love me. So at 6:69am I was lying on the couch and by 7:38am we had a few moments of worship, and then it was my turn. A few weeks ago dad blessed my siblings and though I didn't feel left out I wondered if there was anything for me. We had a sort of Genesis Revelation today and I felt a bit more free after that.
The reality of Adam's story was that he was afraid of God, after Adam and Eve at the fruit they suddenly not only knew good and evil but they became self aware and fearful. God never wanted to kick them out, he only wanted to hold them. However, there is no fear where Love exists, overwhelmed by their new fear they fled from God.
My followup to that is this message, was more of a message to me from my dad. He explained, and re-assured me that I could never earn his love because he already loves me. There have been times when he's been angry and so he apologized, we're all only human after all. I felt better.
It was like even though I'd felt like such a failure at times it was okay and those feelings were lies and I wasted time on them. Because the reality is, the love my earthly parents has for me and Gods love for me are eternal, there's nothing I can do to make them not love me.
It was like even though I'd felt like such a failure at times it was okay and those feelings were lies and I wasted time on them. Because the reality is, the love my earthly parents has for me and Gods love for me are eternal, there's nothing I can do to make them not love me.
After I got a little to eat mom suggested we go for a walk. It was a nice temperature outside so I agreed. We walked all the way down our street and around onto the main road, then up to Little Ceasers, then behind the school and through the field back to our house. (Probably half a mile)
It was really nice. On the way she asked me to speak the word to her, then I realized I'd been neglecting reading my Bible! I actually hadn't sat down and read a chapter in a week or so. I felt really bad about that, so I told her some of the things I had read in Nehemiah.
I decided not to think about my car at all, I figure that its all in Gods hands now, he has a plan ( a super creative plan) and I intend to follow that plan. So when we got back (about 9am) we rested for a little while then it was cleanup + cake time. I ended up spending until about noon playing (learning) with icing. I did get to decorate a cake, and I learned more icing things. Then mom say'd Mrs. Riddle was coming over and they were going out to eat. She was so excited, it was cute. So I cleaned the living room, and the family room and did the dishes and cleaned some of my bathroom while she was gone. And since mom wasn't back by 3pm I had to get the littles with her car.
I don't like moms car (after driving mine for so long especially!) her brakes are different, their tighter so when I have to hit the brakes it feels like I'm kicking in a brick and then slamming into the wall. Its frustrating to me. Kind of like in movies when the character is learning how to drive. Vroom -Eeerrrt- Vroom - Eeerrrt- Thankfully, this time it wasn't that bad, and If I just didn't think about it too much it didn't get to me. After I had all 3 littles in the car I took them for hot dogs at Speedway (a rare and favorite snack).
It was really nice. On the way she asked me to speak the word to her, then I realized I'd been neglecting reading my Bible! I actually hadn't sat down and read a chapter in a week or so. I felt really bad about that, so I told her some of the things I had read in Nehemiah.
I decided not to think about my car at all, I figure that its all in Gods hands now, he has a plan ( a super creative plan) and I intend to follow that plan. So when we got back (about 9am) we rested for a little while then it was cleanup + cake time. I ended up spending until about noon playing (learning) with icing. I did get to decorate a cake, and I learned more icing things. Then mom say'd Mrs. Riddle was coming over and they were going out to eat. She was so excited, it was cute. So I cleaned the living room, and the family room and did the dishes and cleaned some of my bathroom while she was gone. And since mom wasn't back by 3pm I had to get the littles with her car.
I don't like moms car (after driving mine for so long especially!) her brakes are different, their tighter so when I have to hit the brakes it feels like I'm kicking in a brick and then slamming into the wall. Its frustrating to me. Kind of like in movies when the character is learning how to drive. Vroom -Eeerrrt- Vroom - Eeerrrt- Thankfully, this time it wasn't that bad, and If I just didn't think about it too much it didn't get to me. After I had all 3 littles in the car I took them for hot dogs at Speedway (a rare and favorite snack).
Mom was there when we got home, and because it was cool outside I'd opened all the windows and had the fan running and the ac off. Dad was like "good job :)"
So After all that I settled down to rest and finish up dad's surprise cd. About 5pm I took a shower and made my bed, mom had dinner ready by 6:30 and we enjoyed it together then dad had something to say. This made me excited; he mentioned that instead of immediately trying to start our own church ect. we would stick with FCF where we'd been going Sunday evenings. This made me very happy, I feared leaving that church actually because I really felt like I was getting a lot out of it/ The worship meant something to me, I felt like after I'd left those other two churches I'd suffered a little trauma along with the loss. For the first time I feel safe, protected, and welcome in a church, I can belong here and I don't want to leave.
So After all that I settled down to rest and finish up dad's surprise cd. About 5pm I took a shower and made my bed, mom had dinner ready by 6:30 and we enjoyed it together then dad had something to say. This made me excited; he mentioned that instead of immediately trying to start our own church ect. we would stick with FCF where we'd been going Sunday evenings. This made me very happy, I feared leaving that church actually because I really felt like I was getting a lot out of it/ The worship meant something to me, I felt like after I'd left those other two churches I'd suffered a little trauma along with the loss. For the first time I feel safe, protected, and welcome in a church, I can belong here and I don't want to leave.
Then it was time for bible study. To start, mom shared two lovely songs: "Holy" by Jesus culture, and the 'seat in heaven' song by Cathrine Mullins and then dad talked about Jesus' love for us.
Do you know that Jesus left heaven, for us. He already had heaven and God but he was an only child, Jesus LEFT Heaven and GOD simply for the joy of experiencing brothers and sisters, you and me. He restored what God had started as 'family'. Jesus, Gods son, faced the worst scenario possible Separation from God! Jesus was there when Adam left God, so he even knew what would happen.
Do you know that Jesus left heaven, for us. He already had heaven and God but he was an only child, Jesus LEFT Heaven and GOD simply for the joy of experiencing brothers and sisters, you and me. He restored what God had started as 'family'. Jesus, Gods son, faced the worst scenario possible Separation from God! Jesus was there when Adam left God, so he even knew what would happen.
We all said Psalm 22 which was written through David by Jesus and he was answered by God.
It was beautiful, absolutely a clear message.
It was beautiful, absolutely a clear message.
Mom mentioned to me that one of my fish were missing, turns out my strategic rock placement had claimed another victim... So I took that big red thing out. It made me sad, now I have to buy another flame skirted guppy @_@
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